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Feeling lazy

I am feeling so lazy.....

I should be studying my CPA since it is less than 2 weeks away.....but I haven been studying for the whole weekend.....I just felt that it is useless....just feel like giving up. No idea why my current mood is like that....Its not something that I can explain clearly.....its just that I am currently feeling very demotivated.......like there is nothing for me to look forward to......

Its been quite some time since I last felt this way, ever since I started work, I have never felt this lost, I have always known where I am heading towards and where I see myself before I am 30 years old but right now, I dun feel so sure of my life anymore.....So what if I pass my CPA, will my life be any better? Will Bi be able to work in Brunei so that we might be together? Ever since we came back from Perth (after we graduated), we have been geographically seperated.

I should be feeling excited about the job that I went for interview a week ago. But then when I think about it, I have no idea whether this is gonna be a good thing. If I really get this new job, it means that I will have to move back to Bandar, and I still remember the kind of life that I have, all alone without the 2 most important things of my life, my family and Bi. And I have no internet.....that is the worst thing......I am so cut off....so alone......Do I want to go back to that kind of life? And wat about the hectic weekend that I always have? And I will never have enough time for my family and Bi....... I only applied for this job becoz I thought that Bi might be going to Bandar to work together with me......I really hope that Bi will get that job soon. There are just too much to think about......this is really getting to me....with all the things combined......

Anyway, I dyed my hair to dark brown....why I did it? Spontaneous decision.......but I'm glad that I did it as I got so many compliments.....now I am beginning to wonder what were they thinking about when I was still a blonde........LOL......I guess that having a darker shade really does make my hair looks healtheir.........my hair stylist, Kelvin, came over to me (while I was in his saloon), and actually asked me twice whether I really have made up my mind to dye my hair to a darker shade.....hehehehe....he just cant beleive that I wanted to have dark hair.........I have been a blonde for so long....since I first started going to Kelvin Hair saloon.....which is back in my Uni days.......WOW!!!! about 4 years ago.......(except for some time last year, I went to colout treatment my hair into blue black)

I love my hair, I haven take a new picture of my hair since I have been feeling so down for the past few weeks.......I'll try to post a new pic as not to mislead anyone that I am still a blonde......

Pathetic of me I know...the only highlight of my live for the past few weeks is me dying my hair......now I am thinking that when my exam is over, I'll go bandar and have hair extensions......
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