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The most important exam of my life


I have been so busy lately with so many different things.

A bit of good news to share with everyone. I passed my citizenship exam!!!!!! Got my sukacita letter last Thursday! While almost everyone got their letters within the first 3 days, I had only known my results on Thursday at nearly 5pm as I remember that I was gonna go change my running baju.

It was the most tense 4 days of my life. Never ever have I felt this way while waiting for exam results.I think it was partly due to the fact that if it were my Uni exam results or CPA results, we all get to know the results at the same time. We either feel happy (pass) or sad/angry (fail) all at the same time. But as the letter was delivered via the postman to our house, we all got our letters at different time. So hence the tension.

I finally belong somewhere, to a country where I have lived almost all my life. A country that is truly home to me. 

On another note altogether, there were some people who congratulate me but I think it was a bit sour. Not going into details here. But lemme share something with you. Passing this exam is not sheer luck, its hard work. I failed the citizenship exam back in 2008 and once was enough, I told myself when I was called for the exam that I will not go through the same feeling of disappointment ever again.

Last year, 2 months before the exam, I started going for night classes about 2 times per week. Then gradually the frequency increase to 3 times a week and finally 5 times a week. I took 3 weeks worth of leave for the intensive class, which is from morning to night (with exception to lunch and dinner time). I'll arrive home around 11pm every night. I'll take a bath and rest a while and then sit down to read through all the materials that the Cikgu had given us.

I even bought a few karangan books and read through those that are relevant to get some ideas on how to put across my thoughts coherently (in bahasa melayu) of coz. My standard of BM is really very low. So I had no choice but to put in more work than others.

Luckily for me, I met a couple of friends at the tuition place and they helped me alot. I am forever thankful to them as not everyone is as self-less as they are. Helping me to reconstruct my sentences, giving me ideas on what to write on various topics and not forgetting shortening all the answers to the bare minimum and yet it still makes sense. Last but not least, thank you to my cikgu for his guidance.

So I absolutely abhor those people who said those who passed the exams are just plain lucky. I am here to tell those people, its not luck, its sheer hard work!

I am happy for those who had passed this time and as for those who did not make it this time, please do not give up. Keep trying and work harder. You will be rewarded for your hard work.

I finally feel like I belonged.

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